Fashion 101.

Well, well, well… Here I find myself, on a Saturday night, alone. Which means that I can do several things… I can sit here in my underwear and hate my life, wallowing in self-pity and not really achieving anything, or I can put this time to good use. So I’ve chosen the first option, but I’ll be writing a blog as well, so at least my loneliest won’t ever fade, but instead it will be remembered for a long time thanks to a thing called the internet.

It feels as though it has been an eternity since my last blog. In some ways it has, the world has changed so much! I no longer have to write my blog on carrier pigeons and send them out to all my devoted fans. Although if I’m honest, I didn’t have many fans, other than a few who mostly lived in Germany… Infact, I never actually achieved any great success with the last blog, other than my German friends… So a hearty bounjour to all my German brothers and sisters (I hope I spelt that correctly).

It got to the point where it became cruel to write ON the actual pigeons anyway. I often wondered if there was another way… Maybe a larger bird with more surface area to write on, and hopefully a little less squirmy and easier to catch also. Anyway, the internet couldn’t have come along at a better time, the costs for permanent markers and birdseed were ridiculous.

But I’m back writing blogs! Maybe I’ll pluck a pigeon out of the sky from time to time and write on it for old times sake, but mostly I’ll be writing here on wordpress! It’s strange how sometimes things can change so dramatically, but how these parts of life often make a full circle – for instance, I have my old job back! I used to be unemployed for a living, then I suffered a cruel turn of fate and became a full-time highschool teacher. But I’m back doing what I do best, which is being unemployed and miserable enough to write blogs.

One thing that always changes, without people giving it much thought however, is fashion. What an interesting animal fashion is. One minute what you’re wearing is fashionable and the very next moment you’re repulsive for wearing green instead of mauve. I’ve never experienced this dreaded problem however, as I have always been incredibly fashionable. Some key examples of this are the fact that I have a myspace account still (also a hi-five account… Who remembers that!?)

I think the man in the internet is trying to spare me the embarrassment of accessing my Myspace. Well slave, don’t tell me how to live my life.

Here is an example of how cool I used to be as a 17 year-old:

What is funny is that I used to wear shorts that went down to my shins, and socks that went up to my knees. If I was to describe this fashion choice, I would call it “migratory”, as in every clothing piece I was wearing was trying to migrate to somewhere else on my body, or leave it altogether. Unlike bus-drivers’ outfits, where their clothes are all being pulled north – with their long socks and short, shorts.

The funny thing is someone obviously saw this outfit and thought they should make all AFL and Rugby players wear the same thing. Maybe the first person who designed their team uniforms saw their next-door-neighbour Barry the bus driver coming home dressed up in his drivers outfit and thought “wouldn’t it be hilarious and quite ironic if I took an outfit that looks ridiculous on a 63 year-old who sits for a living and put this on some of the fittest, most good looking people in the world”. I bet this person died of laughter when the AFL took the idea and ran with it.

But I recognise fashion now… I see this guy and I know that I have a long way to go with what I wear and how to praise people on their fashion:

You see, the colour “camel” is super hip right now for men but definitely for women. Which does make sense if you think about it… They have incredible skin colour, they have curves to die for and eyelashes for days… It’s no wonder we hold these animals up in our society as the peak of all beauty.

And yet, I call one lady at the store a camel, and all hell breaks loose. I guess things really have changed since I last blogged.

Blogger out.

 

Also, this:

Who wore it better, Johnny Depp or me?